Learning to Consciously Cope after Your Divorce

Divorce is often a painful and very stressful time, even with the support of good friends and loving family members to see you through. The 3 Steps outlined here are to help you cope after your divorce or Separation.

• Take all the time you need to adjust

As you've probably experienced by now, the stress of your divorce might have left you feeling really down and drained. You now need to look after your health and your mental well being. This means that you give yourself all the time  you require to assimilate what has happened and to sort through your feelings.

This is the time for letting go of feelings of guilt and bitterness and looking more into forgiving yourself and when you're ready, also forgiving your former partner. The earlier you can learn to forgive, the sooner you can start to heal. 

Because the ordeal of a divorce simply doesn't just begin with the divorce itself, but much earlier on, this often renders the physical body weak and it is not unusual for people to have a nervous breakdown or get ill after a divorce. Eat well and take some extra supplements to keep you fit and healthy. Exercise regularly to keep your muscles toned and listen to some good music to release some inner tension and stimulate positive thoughts.

Simply take a day at a time, and drop all the attitude of "I have to!"  

• Become your own best friend

After your divorce, you have one great thing going for you. You now have the opportunity of getting to know yourself better and becoming your own best friend. Try to be open to what you can learn about your real needs, your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your values and your limitations.

The better you know yourself now, the easier it will be for you to recognise and attract the kind of new relationships, which will bring you deeper fulfillment. The Law of Attraction does not only allow for like and like to attract each other, but also to strengthen and to complement each other. This is because when your inner vibration changes, as a result of your conscious awareness, then you attract the equivalent person or thing into your life.

An example of this is, say you became conscious of having previously attracted a partner into your life, who you felt gave you too little warmth and tenderness. And let's say that, you now recognised that this is something which you really need. If you vibrate fully and harmoniously in this yearning, you're bound to attract that special someone into your life who has the exact quality you yearn for.         

• Reach out to other people for support

Getting to know yourself better also helps you realise when you are ready to ask other people for their support. We all require support from time to time, and especially now, if you are finding it a bit difficult moving out on your own. Don't let your self-consciousness stop you from asking for support or help.

By reaching out to other people for help, you demonstrate your ability to openly and willingly accept others into your life. I know that it can be a little scary at the beginning, but it is one of the best way to learn to trust again. Don't wall yourself in by being too timid or afraid of asking friends or even a stranger for their support. You'll be amazed at how easy it is, when you allow it to be. 

A way of asking people to help you out, is to inform some good friends and maybe family members of your intention to re-decorate your new home and ask for their help, when you feel ready to do it. People love helping out when they can.    

 

 

Copyrighted material 2005 Olakunbi Korostensky ND
For personal use only. Re-distribution in any form
or commercial use without permission is NOT allowed