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When there’s No Enemy Within, The Enemies Outside Cannot Hurt You!

October 20th, 2011

Posted by: Olakunbi (Kunbi) Korostensky ND

We all go through periods of epiphany which help shift things for us. I believe these to be wonderful moments of deep recognition that can transform our being on an intrinsic level..  

In the last six years, I have made some very clear conscious decisions about my life and how I interact with people. One of these decisions was never to argue with people, because it is energy draining and never resolves anything. It is my conviction that arguing over any matter always  leaves all parties frustrated no matter who has the last word. 

Another thing about arguments is that we argue because we want the other person to accept our opinion and thereby gives us a sense of our greatness.

Now think about this for a moment: how do you feel when someone agrees with what you say? Don’t you have a sense of relief and maybe an underlying pride and validation? Now be honest about this and stop to reflect about these questions.  

And now to the other questions: How do you feel when someone disagrees with your opinion? Do you feel slighted, threatened, angry or can you simply acknowledge the difference of opinions without having any residual feelings of “being trodden upon” and kicked to the curb?

If you’re like most people, you will feel connected with the person who “sides” with you and resent the one who disagrees with you.

Now what does this have to do with todays’ title: When there’s no Enemy Within, the Enemies Outside Cannot hurt You and how does this relate to handling difficult changes with our Intuition?

Actually a lot!

1. When we are experiencing a difficult change in our life, most times we are over sensitized. This fact often does not render accepting advice from other people easy. Our imminent frame of mind renders us vunerable and even when we know on one level of awareness that our friends or partner mean well, it still does not make it easy for us to swallow our pride and agree with them.

In this case, the enemy within are our own insecurities and frustrations. So how can we handle these feelings? First let me say that start by letting go of the old adage: “Attack is the best form of defense”. This will not get you far and will only make things harder for you.

As long as you hold on to your defense, you cannot access your intuition. This is because the anger or the feelings of frustration hold you hostage and our intuition being of a finer vibration cannot cut through that thick wall.

The solution is to listen to the other person by observing what you’re sensing and being with those feelings. Here’s an example. While out with my husband and some friends, my husband complained about some pains in his left leg. I listened as he talked without saying anything. After a while he turned to me and said, why aren’t you saying anything. I replied that because I know he wouldn’t listen to what I have to say, so why should I say anything. He immediately went on the defense, saying: yes, you never listen to me about other matters either.

At that moment, I observed myself and what was going on within me. As I observed, I saw mÿself recoiling and then becoming aware of my feelings. The more I observed what was happening inside me the calmer I became and finally the feelings dissolved as I was able to accept part of what he said as correct and left it at that. My acknowledging the truth gave me a new perspective of the situation. I didn’t feel the need to respond to his attack. Suddenly I felt a rush of heat around my solar plexus and heard a tiny voice said: ”you’re bigger than that and there’s no need to defend yourself“.  

2. Don’t we all love to be right or should I say, why do we recent being proven wrong?  I have found that the more I put my focus on someone’s feelings and listen with an open heart to their reasoning, the easier it is for me to let down my guard. In this receptive mode, I can readily access my intuiive guidance without feeling the need to be right. Invariably, the other person either admit their own insecurities or let go of the jabbing.

When we entertain a strong connection with our inner force, you feel stonger and outward circumstances no longer unhinge us easily. This is because, we begin to recognize on a deeper level of our being that our outer life is truly a mirror of our own inner fears. Become master of you inner life and you master your outer circumstances with calmness.

With our intuition, we can listen to its message in such moments and use its guidance to let go of anger and irritation.

One thing that might help is to ask yourself: Would you rather be right or be happy and peaceful? I know which one I choose. The truth is that when we are able to accept all our experiences as opportunities and pathways to becoming more of our true being, we create a stronger bond with our intuiion which is there to support us in all our challenges.

  
The best way to live is to be so connected to your inner guidance that you no longer need  validation from others. By becoming inwardly strong and clear, you’ll find that other people’s opinion matters lesser and lesser and you no longer feel the need to convince people of your opinion.

I make an effort to clear out my inner closet regualrly. This helps me revisit some buried issues and wipe them out. The clearer our inner mind gets, the more prominent our intuition becomes in our life.

Share your thoughts on this.

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