It has been quite a while since I last posted on my blog. Well, apart from having had a rather long and tiring period – between launching my first International Conference for Women and preparing the yearly event for our non-profit foundation and organizing numerous other matters such as programs for 2007, contacting various people for feedback etc – You name it, I was at the brink of a nervous breakdown!
I decided to do what I often advice other people to do in such cases. Take a break. This was exactly what I did. I left everything behind me and went off to a wellness hotel. This decison has done wonders for my inner calmness, peace of mind and resourcefulness.
While in my seclusion, I had a number of insights. And I’d like to share some of them here. Perhaps some of my recognitions would find resonance with some of you.
1. I realized that stress is often a self-imposed state of mind. When I reflected over the last past months of getting the women’s conference together, I had put enormous pressure on myself. This was as a result of feeling that I had to deliver a “first class” event even though no one had demanded it of me! What a joke! I could have done less and people would still have found the event remarkable without my having to “tear my hair out”.
Insight: If I ever feel the need to go out of my way to give the “best” possible for anything, then I am not connecting first and foremost with my inner need. My energy gets depleted and I lose sight of what is truly essential, which is enjoying the ride. As important as it is getting things well organized like a clockwork, still, it is meaningless if the heart that drives tthe clockwork gets sucked up! I recognise that I require to continue to work on my ego big time!
2.I need to delegate more and allow other people to share in the fun and to create a dynamic force. None of us is meant to struggle alone. Fighting to see to every nooks and crannies all by yourself is a pitiful and depraving picture. It means more to me to promote joy, laughter and creative purposefulness around me.
Insight: It is time to leave behind my “lonesome cave” and seek out others, inviting them to join me on my journey and becoming co-creators of great visions together.
3. During the entire period of working on and developing the program for the International women’s conference, I had ocassional moments of weakness. In these moments, I asked myself why I was going through with the whole thing. Luckily enough, I was able to pull myself together and continued. And I’m glad I did.
In retrospect now, I believe the one main stay that kept me going was my dearest cousin in England. Whenever I felt a little overwhelmed or couldn’t see things clearly, I simply called her and voila. She was just the right person to talk to. She always had the right thing to say or the right approach for me to consider. What a blessing to have someone like that in my corner.
Insight: I didn’t have to lose heart when certain things weren’t working out immediately! By talking to someone special to me or going some places that gave me inspiration or where I could unwind just did the job.